PANDAmonium

I have always had an inordinate fondness for pandas. They are so adorable, unique, and are instantly recognizable with the distinctive black patches on its eyes, ears, and muzzle.  I have always been an extremely colorful person- in life and especially with my wardrobe.  In contrast, that is also the reason I love pandas for their simple black and white palette.

Fortunately for me, I grew up only 30 minutes away from the Smithsonian National Zoo in Washington D.C. At the age of ten my mother and I went to this zoo and we visited the Giant Panda Habitat exhibit.  That was the first time I had ever seen this particular type of bear.  Immediately I fell in love with pandas.

Martial arts is another love interest of mine.  As a kid in the 1990's, I loved watching Black Belt Theater on television every Saturday afternoon. Since then I have become a huge fan of  martial arts films and anything that has to do with my idol, Bruce Lee. One animated film I immediately connected with was Kung Fu Panda because it combined two things I was passionate about: martial arts and pandas.

So in honor of my love for pandas, Kung Fu, and of course Kung Fu fighting pandas,  I put together this easy and inexpensive sweatshirt.  I was even able to use remnants of the white shirt I used to create the "DEAD INSIDE" t shirt (for which I only used the sleeves). Since I cut out the front of the sweat shirt I was able to use that fabric for the panda's headband, nose, and eyes. The trim from the white tee was also used for the panda's eyes.  Every piece of material was put to use, making the saying "One (wo)man's junk, is another (wo)man's treasure" true to life.

We are all a little "Dead Inside"

"As in Heaven as on Earth

We've been DEAD-inside since our birth"

Hollywood Undead

I am a HUGE fan of Korean Pop aka K-Pop music. I especially love to watch the dance choreography videos that coincide with their music videos.  One such video was from the group: Sistar for their song "Give It To Me". 

Aside from the catchy hook and dance moves I was also intrigued by the t shirt the group member, Bora was wearing.  I found it to be both fashionably dark and light at the same time.  I had to have this shirt! I scoured the internet for months searching for this shirt in vain. I kept watching the video and soon realized, "I could easily make this shirt myself. " I bought all the materials I would need to recreate the shirt but I still prolonged putting the shirt together for several weeks.   Little did I know my procrastination would later become my inspiration.  

On the morning of December 5th 2013 at approximately 5:01 a.m. I received a text from my little brother that I will never forget.  It was only 3 words: "MY FATHER DIED".  For a whole day after that I didn't react to this message,  I guess it didn't quite hit me yet. I went to work and carried on my day as if nothing had happened. I even spoke to my family that day wishing that we weren't thousands of miles apart and that I could be there with them to grieve and reminisce, but the next day I had a breakdown, at work. Naturally they sent me home.

 While sitting at home idle and thinking of my father I felt the urge to get up and do something, I knew my dad wouldn't want me to sit around crying since he was always about jokes and laughter.  I had to find some way to express myself and how I was feeling and that's when I began to recreate the shirt I had been wanting for quite awhile.  It was a rather short and easy construction process that only took a few hours to complete, it was as if my dad was guiding me through the process.  I let the painted text dry overnight and the next day I couldn't believe the result: 

The words on this shirt resonated with me now more than ever. The greater the capacity to love the greater the capacity to feel the pain. I definitely went through the stages of grief and I'm now beginning to come to terms with my father's death and I'm comforted with the many memories I have of him. This shirt is not a dark reminder of his passing but a pleasant motivation for me to keep going and pursuing my dreams.